Remember the victims at the seder

By GIL TROY

The Canadian Jewish News, March 27, 2002 / 14 Nisan 5762

During this year's seders, we will celebrate our joyous holiday of liberation with heavy hearts. Even as we revel in our freedom as Jews in the modern world, our brothers and sisters in Israel are in pain.

In the 17 months since the Palestinians turned away from negotiations toward violence, too many have died, too many have been injured, on both sides. And too many seders will have empty chairs - missing husbands, fathers, brothers, sons; missing wives, mothers, sisters, daughters.

The power of the seder - which remains one of the most popular of Jewish ceremonies - comes from its ritualization of memory. It is a most primal, most sensual, most literal, of services. The seder plate - with its representations of the mortar used in building, the charoset, and of the tears shed by the slaves, the salt water - helps us visualize the trauma of slavery.

The physical acts of reclining, of eating special foods, of standing to greet Elijah the prophet, help us feel the joy of yetziat Mitzrayim, of leaving Egypt. And, in an affirmation of the importance of peoplehood, we mark this special moment not as individuals but as a community.

In that spirit, we cannot proceed with business as usual during these difficult times. We must improvise a new ritual that marks our present pain, that illustrates our connection with Israel and with Israelis today. Let each of us, as we gather at our seders, intrude on our own celebrations by leaving one setting untouched, by having one empty chair at our table.

Let us take a moment to reflect on our losses from this terrible year-and-a-half.And as we do that, let us not just remember the dead as hundreds of nameless and faceless people, but let us personalize them. Let us take the time to find out the name of one victim of the current conflict, one Jew who cannot celebrate this year's holiday, one family in mourning.

Let us call out the name of Benny Avraham, age 20, one of the Israelis kidnapped by Hezbollah in October 2000, and now presumed dead. Let us call out the name of Koby Mandell, age 13, a young American immigrant brutally killed last May, whose father, Rabbi Seth Mandell, talks about the empty seat at his shabbat table and shares the pain of watching other boys grow up, watching their voices deepen, their shoulders broaden, their gaits quicken, even as his son lies dead.

Let us call out the name of Ayelet Haschachar Levy, age 28, who was "guilty" of the crime of walking down an alley near Jerusalem's Machaneh Yehudah marketplace - the wrong place at the wrong time. Let us call out the name of Mordechai Schijveschuurder, 43, Tzira Schijveschuurder, 41, Ra'aya Schijveschuurder, 14, Avraham Yitzhak Schijveschuurder, 4, Hemda Schijveschuurder, 2, five members of one family murdered in the Jerusalem Sbarro Pizzeria bombing. Let us call out the names of Shlomo Nehmad, 40, Gafnit Nehmad, 32, Shiraz, 7, and Liran, 3, the family killed, along with three cousins, as they spilled into the streets at the end of Shabbat just a few weeks ago.

And as we call out these names, unlike too many of our enemies, let us not call for vengeance, let us not call for more bloodshed. Instead, as we mourn, let us hope; as we remember the many lives lost during this crazy and pointless war, let us pray ever more intensely for a just and lasting peace.

nformation about many of the Israelis killed in the current violence can be found at the Israeli Foreign Ministry's Web site: http://www.mfa.gov.il/mfa/home.asp. Click on the "In Memoriam" section.